Difference is not the same as being difficult but you would do well to look at your own behavior and consider which side of the line it sits when thinking about handling a relationship you find problematic. Is the object of your difficulty a difference physically, socially, culturally?
Are You Annoying at Work? Every job area has at least one staff who is a pest or loudmouth and who drives the rest of the workers crazy. Could it be you? Take this quiz to find out how annoying you might be:
How many of these statements describe you?
1) You make provocative statements by using your gestures like a not so nice smile, a negative posture, or saying something to needle someone.
2) You often find yourself delivering a long, lengthy speech consisting of buzzwords (a stylish or trendy word or catch phrase).
Trendy Words: You are blind leading the blind; It’s like sending you with the cattle to the slaughterhouse; Your dead as a doornail; Don’t you let the fish out of water; I give you an inch, and you take a mile; You are running around like a chicken with it’s head cut of; We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Catch Phrases: Here it comes; Bite me; by this time my lungs were aching for air; Watch out for snakes. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. Why don’t you marry it? Where did the school find you?
3) You make up nicknames for all of your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. (e.g. “Good job, Chachi!”, “I’m going to have to disagree with you there, T-bone!”)
4) You have plastered your work area with photos of yourself taken with famous people.
5) It is your trademark to recite rhyming or relating other cutesy messages. Examples: You have the right to have these fries your way, even if it means eating them like a normal human being; your just brain drain;
6) The questions you ask to others are preceded by long monologues of your views and accomplishments.
7) You routinely eat savory and sweet-smelling lunches at your desk or work area.
8) You bring in dishes that you tried to cook, but didn’t turn out quite right as “special treats” for your coworkers.
9) People seem tense — even panic-stricken — when they see you coming their way.
10) Others back away from you as you speak.
11) You leave notes to staff telling them what you are doing. (e.g. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”)
12) You vigorously chew or pop your gum.
13) You wear strong perfume or cologne.
14) You assume your co-workers are fascinated by your personal problems.
15) You interrupt others while they are speaking.
16) You are moody and don’t care who knows it.
17) You borrow staplers, scissors and tape from others’ desks and forget to return them.
18) Your dialogue with others often ends with the other person shouting, “You are so annoying!”
If you only counted one or two” yeses,” then you are not to worry about being annoying.
If your have three to five of these statements, take heed. You are on your way to becoming the source of many an eye roll.
If you do six or more of these on a regular basis, chances are you are already on the staff watch list and have been anointed by your coworkers as annoying. It’s time to do a reality check and make some changes.
Ask your boss or staff for feedback, and be ready to listen. If what you hear doesn’t fit your self-image, ask them to help you understand what they are saying by giving examples. You might say: “Tell me more about what I do that leads you to believe that.” Then listen, without arguing, defending or justifying your actions.
Remember, there are countless ways to aggravate coworkers — you can even annoy them by trying too hard to please or being too nice! As long as you avoid the aforementioned behaviors, use your energy for the good of the school or organization and treat others, as you would like to be treated, you should be all right.
And remember, it’s perfectly okay to annoy others sparingly. It reminds them that you still exist!